SO, here's what i don't get. I am 22, and I am uninterested in love and relationships. Like, I can't be bothered. And whats more, I feel guilty saying this, like I'm admitting to having STI's or herpes, or i've caught the a-sexual disease. Let's be serious, I'm am interested in relationships and love at some point, maybe, if they come around and i have no other reason not to, but they are currently riding the bottom of my priorities list.
But why do i feel guilty and if i've failed? Surely that I put my own hopes and dreams above the hopes of a significant other, this just shows I'm a person of depth/hopes?  I admitted this fact to my housemate the other day, and she seemed shocked. You don't want a boyfriend? well, no. they take up time and generally make me feel shitter than when i'm out of a relationship. Oh, she says, then you've never been in love.
I have been what society calls "in love." And when I was younger, being "in love" was all i could think about. First kisses, movie moments of awkward asking-outs and meeting the parents and tears and cherry popping and the like. I was desperate to have a boyfriend, even though I said I wasnt. I would hopelessly dream of some lad sweeping me off my feet and "making me better. making me worthwhile." I find that horrific, looking back. I mean, I was brought up in a liberal feminist family, and still the pervading myth of "love" and happy ever after took over my brain. And i truly did believe that because I didnt have a boyfriend, I wasn't "ok", and that having a boyfriend, I would be able to trust in myself and allow myself to like myself.
I wasn't the only one to think this. I also wasn't some naive girl who reads magazines. I was an intelligent, liberal, thoughtful teenager with a few confidence issues. And yet, those were my thoughts.
Anyway, I had a boyfriend and all that stuff, and it was great. Well, it was great sometimes. It was also, obviously shit at some times, and we forugth and broke up and got back together and it was hard work, and three years later it ended, but he is still my best friend, because i know him inside out, I know his flaws and I still love him for himself. That is what love is. Love is hard work, making compromises, it takes time and energy. And if you can deal with all the other persons shit and still love them, you're either an idiot or made for each other.
Coming out of the relationship, all i can think is that, all that time, energy, emotions,  compromises on my own hopes- surely life would just be easier if i focused on my own life, my career, my own happiness? And it is. Out of relationship, with control and freedom, I feel alive, so alive! And like I have every chance in the world.
But why do I feel selfish admitting this? I mean, that's all great, isnt it? I don't feel so. Love is the great meaning of society. You can't criticize love. It's an absolute naturalized means to an end. If people are acting like shits but are in love... well, they're in love. If you're friend leaves you for her boyf, well... She's in love. You cannot beat it. Society is OBSESSED with love. Every book, every film, adverts and TV and government policy breed on love, on the romantic paradim, that love saves us, makes us better, that we aren't whole without love. Look at, for example, at Kate Middleton, who before William found her, was waiting for him, hopelessly "poor", and now is "radiant." Society thinks love is the key. And thats why as a 15 year old, all i could think was: I need love to make me whole.
Which is shit. what i needed as a 15 year old was confidence in myself. Love is nothing if you don't like yourself. You can't find someone else to love you for who you are if you hate yourself, firstly because they'd have to like twice over, and secondly because if you hate what they like, how can you change into something you do like? and can you learn to love yourself through someone else? really? I hated many things about myself when I first got into a relationship, and so I acted confusingly. I was angry when he didn't try to make me like myself, when he didn't get it that I had to be "whole." My under confidence made the relationship hard, i know that.
Which is why I just think; why isn't society obsessed with things which don't have a romantic ending? Why shouldn't I be celebrating that I have found a place for myself, where I am happy, where I don't feel like I need to rely on anyone but myself?

"true love"
"have you got a boyfriend yet?"
Female masturbation
The "hot" complex
sexual harassment.